Quick Crawfish Etoufee

I’m from South Louisiana, and when people think of Louisiana, they think of cajun and creole food. Well, here’s a quick, easy crawfish etouffee recipe. Before we begin, let me give you a few pointers on making authentic crawfish etouffee. First, they are called CRAWFISH! Not crayfish, or mudbugs, or any of that other crap. We invented the crawfish by crossing a lobster with a chihuahua, so damn it, we know how to say it! Second, it’s considered sacrilege by a lot of folks to use roux from a jar.

With that said, I’m a heretic, I use roux from a jar. I work full time and have three kids, I don’t have time for roux making. Besides, there are those that argue that an etouffee should not have a roux, and some say you have to put tomatoes, I don’t care. This is how I do it. It’s simple, quick, and damn tasty.

So, on to the recipe:

1 lb peeled crawfish tails (I use the frozen packages, sue me)
1 stick of butter
2 cups chopped yellow onion
1 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
1 large jalepeno, sliced
2 tsp minced garlic
2 bay leaves
1 cup water
2 heaping TBS roux from a jar
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne

Over medium high heat, melt the butter. Add onions, celery, and peppers. Cook about 10 minutes, or until the stuff has started wilt. Add crawfish, garlic, and bay leaves, and reduce heat to medium. Cook another 10 minutes. Add water and roux. Bring liquid to a boil, stirring until the roux is dissolved, and the liquid thickens. Serve over rice with a little crusty garlic bread on the side. How simple is that?

No pics for this one. Etouffee isn’t nearly as impressive to look at as large chunks of animal flesh cooking over an open flame.

As for my beer recommendation, I stick with one of the big name domestics like Miller, Bud, or Coors. If you can find it, Abita Andygator is perfect.

On a side note, I have been boycotting Abita beer since they came out with that stupid hippie commercial about going green. Screw the environment.

Jerk Pork Tenderloin With Corn Grits

I don’t know crap about “Jamaican Jerk” food at all. All I know is this is my version of this Emeril Lagasse Recipe for Jerk Pork Tenderloin. I changed up a few things. First of all, Something may be wrong with me because I stand orange in my marinades for the grill. Maybe I R Doin It Rong. Anyway, I use the zest of one lime and the juice of four limes. Also, I have little kids to feed, so no scotch bonnet peppers for me. I use four serranos and one jalapeno.

The recipe goes like this:

1 red onion chopped
2 cups chopped green onion
2 tsp fresh grated ginger
4 serrano peppers chopped
1 jalapeno pepper chopped
4 cloves garlic
1 lime zested
juice of 4 limes
2 tsp salt
2 tsp dark brown sugar
1 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
2 TBS apple cider vinegar
1 TBS Worcestershire sauce
1 TBS vegetable oil
2 small pork tenderloins

Take all ingredients except for the pork, and combine them in your handy-dandy food processor. Dump the contents of your handy dandy food pro into a 1 gallon zip top bag. Add pork to bag. Place bag in refigerator. Marinate for 24 hours. The original says no less than 4 hours, but I wouldn’t recommend less than six.

You can scream, but can't nobody hear you

Preheat your grill and try to get to 500 degrees, or thereabouts. Make sure the grates are greased. Throw the pork straight down on direct heat, and let it go for 6 minutes a side. I usually add a third side since these things are cylinders. It should look something like this:

Allez Cuisine!

How about some Zea Style Corn Grits on the side? Or maybe underneath? For those of you that don’t know, Zea’s is a Louisiana restaurant that specializes in rotisserie meats. They have the best Thai ribs in the world. Except for maybe Thailand, but I have never been there so it doesn’t count. They also have “roasted corn grits” (presumably the above recipe) that are so good I can’t put it into words. I have come to the conclusion that whichever biblical profit sad that the streets of Heaven are paved with gold actually saw rivers of Zea’s corn grits and misinterpreted it. This recipe is so simple. I think you could cook a boot heel this way, and it would taste good.

I’ll be drinking some Rising Moon – Blue Moon’s Spring seasonal beer.

Mmmm, Mmm, bitch!

Care to see what it looks like when it’s all put together? I am no good at picture taking, or plating. Regardless, this still makes me want to slap my momma.

Hey mom! *smack*

What do you think? That will make throw rocks at anything Bobby Flay cooks. Maybe not, but it’s still pretty good.

Read ‘Em and Weep

I just felt like showing off supper from tonight. Y’all probably don’t know what a bad mother (shut yo mouth) I am in the kitchen, and with a barbecue pit. Anyways, check it out:

Read ‘em and weep sucker

Bone in, skin on, dark meat covered in Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce. Nothing healthy about it.

There is something to be said for simplicity. For quick, easy barbecued chicken, get you some dark meat chicken pieces, dust them with some Tony Chachere’s creole seasoning, and cook them over medium-high indirect heat for about an hour. Move them to direct heat for a minute to crisp up the skin. When they are done, throw a light coat of your favorite barbecue sauce on them, and let them rest for five or ten minutes. Where most people screw up their barbecue chicken is cooking it with direct and/or putting the barbecue sauce on the chicken while it is still cooking.

Why yes, that is a pot of beans baked under a lid of bacon®

This was a great pot of baked beans. Straight from Paula Deen’s kitchen to yours. Here’s the recipe. I’ll be tinkering with this one to suit my taste, but this was slamming.

JumpOut’s Hot Wings

I just made some awesome chicken wings with a recipe that I have been experimenting with. Unfortunately, I didn’t write down the amounts of the stuff I used, so treat this one as a general guideline until, I can get the amounts right.

16 chicken wings

1/2 cup unsalted butter

1/2 cup hot sauce

2 large cloves garlic, minced

? apple cider vinegar

? honey

? brown sugar

? dijon mustard

? cajun seasoning

Break down the wings by removing the tip, and separating the drummette (humorous bone) from the flat (radial and ulna bone). Sprinkle cajun seasoning on the wings.

Now, I may get kicked out of the southern man club because I am not a big fan of deep fat fried anything. It’s no different with my wings. I prefer to grill them. Preheat the grill to 400. Use your preferred method to achieve indirect heat, and start your wings a-grillin’. Cook over indirect heat for about 8 minutes a side. Then move them to direct heat to get a little crisp in the skin, and cook them for about five minutes a side or until the juices are run clear, and you achieve your preferred amount of doneness.

Now for the sauce. You may want to do this while the wings are over the indirect heat on the grill as you will want the wings to still be hot when you add the sauce. Take a small cooking vessel and add the butter and garlic. Once the butter is melted whisk in the hot sauce. Add the rest of the ingredients, and whisk until combined.

In a large bowl toss the wings with the sauce. Allow to sit for a few minutes, and serve them up. Obviously this recipe is a work in progress, and will be updated when I more accurately measure the ingredients.

Fajita Steak Rub

Revised on 05/03/09

This is a spice rub I like to use on steak that I want to use for fajitas, or if I just want a steak that tastes like fajitas. It is strong, and will overpower the meat if you use too much of it.

2 TBS kosher salt

1 TBS cumin

1 TBS garlic powder

1tsp onion powder

1 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp chipotle chile powder

1/2 tsp paprika

1/4 tsp cayene

Combine all ingredients in a bowl, and stir it with a fork or small whisk until well combined. Add to your meat of preference. I usually use it on skirt steak, or top sirloin.